The Hurt & The Healer

"Jesus come and break my fear. Awake my heart and take my tears. Find your glory even here, when the hurt and the healer collide." -MercyMe

Friday was a day I was looking forward to and sort of dreading at the same time. My week had gone pretty well with classes and I had hoped for a nice, quiet weekend to finish up...well...start my last math module so I could take the final test next Friday. So much for that. 

On Friday, I had my first ever visit to a chiropractor. My plan was that he would give me a good adjustment and I'd be on my way. Haha...not how it went. When arriving at the "hole in the wall" office, I made my way up the stairs to what I was hoping was the front door. I'd guessed right, thankfully. I got to the front desk where there were a few pages for me to fill out regarding my health information, past surgeries, what brought me there, blah, blah, blah. This is where writing small comes in handy. I completed my work in a few minutes and the assistant took me back into the little office with a massage table in the middle of the room. Looking around, I noticed all the human anatomy posters on the walls, the model of a spine, and all the very strange "torturous" looking equipment. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little..but they did look rather peculiar. The nerves set in and I became obsessed with studying the posters to keep my mind off things. As I thought about bolting, the doctor came in the room. He was nice little guy, not much taller than I am. I couldn't imagine him doing harm to anyone so I tried to relax and say a prayer.

As our conversation about my migraines started to develop (I had more issues but we'll get to that in a bit), the doctor decided to feel my neck. In the process, he came across a knot at the base of my c-spine. I jumped and winced at the pain that shot through my neck and down my spine. He apologized but for some reason felt the need to keep poking spots that hurt like fury. I guess they're supposed to do that in order to make a fair assessment. His assessment, "hmmm...you're pretty sensitive." Ya think? After all the poking around, he told me what he thought could be causing the migraines and told me he would like an x-ray before doing any adjustments to my neck. Wise choice. I'm liking this guy for not putting me in a wheelchair by messing with my neck. 

We then went over details of my hip pain, lower back pain, and apparently TMJ. By this time, I'm feeling a lot older than I really am. He did a little bit more poking around my shoulder blades (very sensitive), my lower spine (sensitive), and sacrum (tail-bone....VERY SENSITIVE). Trust me, I would have run out of the office if I could have moved fast enough but getting up off the table took way too much energy. Instead, I let out whimpers and felt tears welling up in my eyes. 

Here comes the fun stuff (not really). He had me lie down, face first, on the massage table and placed those little sticky circles right underneath my shoulder blades. These sticky circles are deceiving. At the time, you can't see the wires that are attached to them or the machine that is attached to those wires. He also placed acupuncture needles in my neck and lower legs. This made me a little nervous since I figured the machine I was hooked up to had electricity surging through it. I had no intention of being a human conductor as the needles shot out blue waves and I rose up off the table like in the movie Powder. Well, this wasn't the case, thank goodness. I did happen to press down into the table, when he flipped on the TENS unit, so hard I thought I might come crashing down to the floor. I actually felt like I had a few hefty (like 200 lbs hefty) hamsters that had been injected with speed running around on my back. I literally couldn't breath. I must have endured about 15 minutes of this when the machine finally turned off. I thought, "Yes, it's over. I can go now."

Wrong! Here comes the doctor with another torture device...the gigantic massager! I didn't even see it coming since I was still face down on the table. That thing was probably as big as Charles Barkley's head. I'm not exaggerating on this one. He rubbed that thing over my lower back and tail-bone. Oye vey!  It hurts to even think about it again. Once he stopped after what seemed like an eternity, he asked me to roll over on my back. Ha! Yeah, not even on a great day can I do that without sounding like a box of Rice Crispy's. Good thing he took pity on me and showed me how to unlock my back in order to turn over. Along with that exercise, he showed me a few more to do throughout my day. 

With that, we were done...almost. He told me he wanted to see me again on Tuesday so we could get an x-ray. It appears as though I should have gone to the other office first but I didn't know that an x-ray was in my future. I don't have fear of x-rays. I've been through my fair share throughout the years along with MRIs, CTs, and Ultrasounds for other various conditions but for some reason, this one scares me. I'm afraid of what they might find. Will I finally get a diagnosis as to why my migraines have progressed and changed over the years? Will it be something as simple as needing an adjustment or will it be something serious that could require surgery? Whatever the case is, it will be good to know the answer I've been searching for since I was 15. So I will be brave...um...actually, God will be brave for me. He will hold my hand and get me through it as He always has. My hurt and my Healer will collide and I will be comforted by Him. 

"Breathe...sometimes I feel it's all that I can do. Pain so deep that I can hardly move. Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You. Lord take hold and pull me through. So here I am, what's left of me, where glory meets my suffering. I'm alive! Even though a part of me has died. You take my heart and breathe it back to life. I've fallen into Your arms open wide, when the hurt and the Healer collide." - MercyMe