"I'm trying to tell you something about my life. Maybe give me insight between black and white. The best thing you've ever done for me, is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all. Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable. And lightness has a call that's hard to hear. I wrap my fear around me like a blanket. I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore."
This above tidbit of a song seems to some up how October is going. The month started off pretty fantastic. I started a new adventure and learned new things about myself. I got to see the fabulous duo that wrote the above song, the Indigo Girls, in concert. I had my second complex migraine followed by a third and fourth which got me two trips to the ER and was the main factor in losing my job this week. I also gained some insight on friends; the ones that are in your life for the long haul, the ones around for a few years, and those only here for a short time, and I think I'm ok with it.
The good stuff first. I attended a class to help show me what my spiritual gifts were and how to best utilize them to serve God. I was shocked by some things I found out...in a good way. The reality is that I'm still learning about myself and I'm not so sure I know exactly where my passion lies. I will figure it out in time. As I go through learning more, I will be happy with who I am and know that God will use me however he sees fit.
The Indigo Girls concert was truly awesome! I'd never seen them perform right in front of my eyes before. They sound better in person than on any CD or tape or record (depending on your age). The only downside was standing up the entire concert. I would have been better off wearing comfortable shoes than the ones that looked best with my outfit. Haha... Imagine me...concerned with what I was wearing. Go figure!
After two great weeks and two wonderful weekends, it all came crashing down. Things seemed to be fine on Monday but to my surprise there was a nasty migraine headed my way. I had arrived home from work to find that dinner was being cooked for me...always a plus. But there was a difficult conversation being served up as a side dish to the pork chops. All seemed to be going alright when, BAM! My head started pounding, burning, and pretty much exploding. I realized it was getting more difficult to speak clearly and then came...du du du....right hand and arm numbness. *said in that cool movie voice* Needless to say, I freaked out. I couldn't believe this was happening again. I didn't think I'd ever have another one. Of course, at the time, you feel like you're having a stroke which is why I freaked out. Freaking out only makes things worse. So it was off to the ER where the non-attentive doctor listened to my heart, recommended some drugs, and promptly left the room. At least the nurse was nice enough to help me off the bed. By the time we got home, I had broken out in a sweat and proceeded to itch myself to sleep. Apparently I was allergic to one of the drugs pushed to me. By the next morning, my head still hurt but I'd gotten over the allergic reaction for the most part. I decided to try and drive to work. Probably not the best idea. I was then sent home from work because I didn't look very good and I was scaring my boss since I still couldn't speak clearly. Thankfully, I made it home without injuring myself or anyone else. The next day, I made it through the whole day without scaring anyone but the headache remained. By Friday, I was feeling alright and was hoping to make it to the Richmond Folk Festival that evening. However, while waiting in the parking lot for a shuttle to take me to my fun-filled destination, the bugger hit me again. Making it home safely (my angles have no hair anymore), I tried to relax and the pain got less intense. However, by Monday, plans were to change again. I made it to work but only to the parking lot when the pain crept up the back of my head once again. This time I'd had it and called my partner to come pick me up and haul me back to the ER. Good news is that a different ER doctor was much better at taking care of things. Even though the headache still hasn't gone away, he took the time to listen, run tests, and make me feel like I wasn't going out of my mind.
The next day I'd finally gotten an appointment with my Neurologist but about two hours after that phone call, I received another call letting me know that I'd lost my job. I'm still with the temp agency. However, the facility I was working for decided they needed someone that could be there everyday. I totally understood and I felt badly about letting them down. But, it was out of my control and out of theirs. I'm not sure when I'll be able to work again. I just know that I need to get this stuff taken care of and my health is more important than any job. Thank you to Sara for reminding me of this. :)
As for my friends, I cherish each of them...even if they are around for only a season. And sometimes those seasonal friends have a way of coming back around to be hearty branches in the tree of life.
So even though October hasn't gone the way I wanted it to, I know that I'm strong enough to get through it with God's help. Who knows? Maybe the rest of the month will be back to fantastic.
"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine". -Indigo Girls
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